When appropriate, try to clarify any misinformation or misunderstandings - again, check out the archives as a resource - as well as respect your partner's reasons. Empathizing with your partner's situation may help you better understand this mouthful of an issue. Is your partner anxious, nervous, or emotionally uncomfortable with performing the act? If so, consider encouraging your partner to communicate negative and positive feelings, opinions, and history towards oral sex. Some people experience psychological challenges with sex, including oral sex. Experiment, see what works, and be willing to delay or give up your oral pleasure for other pleasures if your partner's unable to do it. As with many sexual behaviors, many variations of oral sex exist - you may want to research the Sexual and Reproductive Health archives. Try different positions, with you on your knees, lying down, with your partner on top, standing up, etc., to see if one position or another lets your partner feel more comfortable. That way, your partner may control when, how far, and how fast your penis will move. If your partner's ready for the real deal, try using your partner's hand to guide your penis into your partner's mouth. Perhaps phallic food items, like yummy carrots, bananas, and zucchinis, may serve as practice items and as a nutritious, post-oral workout snack. If it's purely a physical thing, your partner may consider practicing to curb the gag reflexes. Once you and your partner uncover more about what happens when your partner starts to gag, together you may try to solve the problem. More importantly, is this something your partner wants to do or finds pleasurable?.Is it something physical, psychological, or both?.Is your penis touching the back of your partner's throat or the sides?.Does your partner's mouth feel too full?.At which point does your partner start to gag?.Perhaps you may ask your partner specific questions to better assess the conundrum: This may be an area where you and your partner may want to better communicate and work together to optimize both ease and enjoyment. Oral sex may be a pleasurable experience for everyone involved when the participants are comfortable and willing. Lollipops, popsicles, and corndogs may be fun and gag-free for many people, but penises may conjure up different sensations.
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